Editing
How I write
My first challenge in writing is finding an idea.
Oftentimes my ideas for investigative pieces come from listening to my friends. For example, I am currently covering a piece on how schools handle complaints against teachers, because one of the younger students I help with homework in my study hall brought up the retaliation she and her friends are facing from a teacher as a result of filing a complaint about him regarding inappropriate behavior. When I attend conferences, such as Columbia Scholastic Press Association and National Scholastic Press Association events, I try to speak with as many students and advisors as possible to get an idea of what kinds of stories they are covering locally. This oftentimes leaves me with a list of story ideas at the end of an event, which I later pitch to my staff. Other than this, story ideas come from local news reports, school board meeting discussions, and national issues that can be related to the community.
Next, I collect all of the sources I might need. I paste all of the reference links that I want to use onto one document, and contact everyone I want to interview for the piece. After interviews, I transcribe anything and pull out the quotes I want to use-- usually the more vivid ones, or ones with information I can't find elsewhere.
Then, I put the article together. I write the lead, and in the paragraphs I generally try to include as much information as I can, especially when its a controversial piece. When I was younger, I had to reference the AP Style book as I wrote, because there was a lot of common things I didn't know, but now I have most of this memorized so I just fix any mistakes in editing.
After I finish writing I read my piece out loud to myself. If something doesn't flow right, or it seems unclear, I change it. Then, I share my piece with fellow editors to help me catch anything I might have missed.
When editing the pieces of my peers, I generally read an article first without regard to grammar, just to make sure the juxtaposition of ideas make sense, since there's no use in fixing punctuation if the work as a whole doesn't have the support it needs. If there are any problems there, I talk to them about what I think is confusing as far as sources, organization, and ideas go and leave it to them to fix it. When this is done, I read through articles for grammar and AP Style. The most common issue I find, and this is a mistake I myself make quite often, is that AP Style dictates that quotes should be broken up and sourced after the first sentence, so that readers aren't reading long excerpts without knowing who they're attributed to.
Of course, in this process, I always miss a lot of mistakes. That's why I make sure to always have at least three other people read over my articles before I publish them. Even then, articles have still been printed with the word "dinner" instead of "diner" and "american" rather than "American."
The idea for this story came out of general discussion at a meeting of my local paper's teen panel.
Like all my other stories, I began this one by finding sources. I searched the web for helpful links and contacted possible sources. To the right is the original document, which I used for reference as I formulated interview questions and shaped the article.
Finding interviews for this one was tough, because even teens legally old enough to be vaping didn't want their families to know they were using nicotine products. To get around this, the advisor of the teen panel gave me permission to quote them anonymously. I asked my three sources similar questions, since this wasn't a personality-based piece. The transcript of these interviews, with the subjects' names blacked out, is to the right. This document has not been changed from it's original state other than to obscure names, despite it's grammatical misfortune, as it was intended to be only seen by myself and so it was written without concern for readability. Although I could ask the subjects of these interviews if I could release their names now for the purpose of leaving this document in its original state-- as it has been several years and they are all above the legal age to use the concerned products now-- I have chosen not to as, since one of the interviewed subjects has passed away since the publication of this article, I would have to contact his mother for permission to do so (and considering she may not have known about his nicotine use, such a conversation may be quite harmful to her and her family).
To the right is the first draft of this story. Note its lack of quotes and poor transitions.
With technology becoming more and more apart of the daily lives of Americans, it is no surprise that books aren’t the only products being replaced by machines.
Many rejoice in the idea that teen cigarette use on the decline, having dropped 27.1% since 1997 according to the CDC, but just as people continue to read books, tobacco use hasn’t quite declined among the young in the way one might think.
Over 3 million middle and high school students in 2015 were found to be current users of e-cigarettes, up more than half of a million from the year before. E-cigarettes, often referred to as e-cigs, are used by an estimated 16% of American high school students- making them the most popular tobacco product among today’s youth.
Some teens choose to use e-cigarettes, an act often referred to as vaping due to the device’s use of water vapor rather than traditional smoke, because they believe that e-cigarettes are healthier than cigarettes, they believe it may help them to stifle personal nicotine addictions, and because they think vaping, and the culture surrounding it, is cool.
“...a lot of my friends and family have used it to quit smoking, but I believe the second most part of it is teens just think it’s cool,” said a Neshaminy senior, who chooses to remain anonymous, in an interview with Reality last week.
Studies have concluded that many teens start their path towards tobacco use as a result of depression, anxiety, stress, and the expectations of positive outcomes as a result of tobacco use, such as weight loss.
Researches have found that when teens have lower academic performance, low socioeconomic status, low self esteem, and lower prices on local tobacco products they are more likely to use them.
One Neshaminy senior, 17, reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “Because cigarettes went up a dollar about 2 months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes.
In the second draft I added quotes and fixed some transitions, but there was still a lot to fix. Sometimes, like with this article, I run my writing through plagiarism checkers just to make sure I didn't accidently write a sentence or too what was too similar to an article I had read in my research. Things that were added in this draft that did not exist in the previous have been underlined, while things that have been removed are bolded.
Whilst re-reading the original text of my interviews, I realized I had attributed a quote to the wrong source, and fixed it here.
With technology becoming more and more apart of the daily lives of Americans, it is no surprise that books aren’t the only products being replaced by machines.
Many rejoice in the idea that teen cigarette use on the decline, having dropped 27.1% since 1997 according to the CDC, but just as people continue to read books, tobacco use hasn’t quite declined among the young in the way one might think.
Over 3 million middle and high school students in 2015 were found to be current users of e-cigarettes, up more than half of a million from the year before. E-cigarettes, often referred to as e-cigs, are used by an estimated 16% of American high school students- making them the most popular tobacco product among today’s youth.
“[Teens] do it to fit in, clear cut. Vaping has no history of causing any problems to the body (because it is still a fairly new product) so younger people are more inclined to try it,” said 19-year-old Temple freshman and e-cigarette user, whose identity will remain anonymous throughout this piece, along with the identities of all other interviewees.
Some teens choose to use e-cigarettes, an act often referred to as vaping due to the device’s use of water vapor rather than traditional smoke, because they believe that e-cigarettes are healthier than traditional cigarettes,.
“Vaping is a better, healthier way to smoke a nicotine product, when compared to cigarettes. I rarely “feel” vape smoke in my lungs, whereas cigarette and hookah smoke burns a little bit,” said the Temple freshman in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Despite the popular belief that e-cigarettes contain none of the dangerous chemicals found in traditional tobacco products, components of antifreeze have been found in 2 leading electronic cigarette brands and 18 different cartridges according to the FDA. Formaldehyde, diacetyl, and, of course, nicotine are also often found within electronic cigarettes.
theyOther teens use e-cigs because they believe itthat vaping may help them to stifle personal nicotine addictions, andor because they think vaping, and the culture surrounding it, is cool.
“...a lot of my friends and family have used it to quit smoking, but I believe the second most part of it is teens just think it’s cool,” said a Neshaminy senior, who chooses to remain anonymous, in an interview with Reality last week.Sophomore and vape user, 15, in an interview with Reality last week.
Despite an FDA ruling on August 8th regulating that e-cigarettes may no longer be sold to minors, teens can still purchase vape products online, or have older friends purchase the aforementioned products for them.
One Neshaminy senior and vape user believes that this ruling will not have an affect on youth electronic cigarette use. “Most of the people who sell [electronic cigarettes] don't really care about the age of people they sell them to,” said the 17-year-old in an interview with Reality last week. He reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “because cigarettes went up a dollar about 2 months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes.
“I believe that vapes are targeted toward young people, because younger people are more on the go, they're always doing something, and they can't stop for 5-7 mins to smoke and keep going- but with a vape, someone can just puff on it a few times just about anywhere,” said 16-year-old e-cigarette user and Junior at Bishop Conwell-Egan in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Studies have concluded that many teens start their path towards tobacco use as a result of depression, anxiety, stress, and the expectations of positive outcomes as a result of tobacco use, such as weight loss.
Researches have found that when teens have lower academic performance, low socioeconomic status, low self esteem, and lower prices on local tobacco products they are more likely to use them.
One Neshaminy senior, 17, reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “Because cigarettes went up a dollar about 2 months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes. Teens have reported rarely seeing major life changes as a result of their e-cigarette habits.
“Well, everybody wants to bust your stones, and crack a joke on the guy who vapes, but it really hasn't changed my life, if anything it made it easier, because I can vape in my house or car. I can't smoke in there,” said the Conwell-Egan junior.
“My brother and some of his friends used to call my vape the “douche-flute”, which seems to be the only drawback I went through. I found myself spending money on vape paraphernalia, but the amount of money didn’t affect me majorly,” said the Temple freshman.
The CDC has shown that male teens are 10% more likely than their female peers to use tobacco products and 6.2% more likely to use electronic cigarettes.
Researches have also found that when teens have low academic performance, low socioeconomic status, low self esteem, and low prices on local tobacco products in their area are more likely to use them.
Most edits to the third draft occurred towards the end of the article.
With technology becoming more and more apart of the daily lives of Americans, it is no surprise that books aren’t the only products being replaced by machines.
Many rejoice in the idea that teen cigarette use on the decline, having dropped 27.1% since 1997 according to the CDC, but just as people continue to read books, tobacco use hasn’t quite declined among the young in the way one might think.
Over 3 million middle and high school students in 2015 were found to be current users of e-cigarettes, up more than half of a million from the year before. E-cigarettes, often referred to as e-cigs, are used by an estimated 16% of American high school students- making them the most popular tobacco product among today’s youth.
“[Teens] do it to fit in, clear cut. Vaping has no history of causing any problems to the body (because it is still a fairly new product) so younger people are more inclined to try it,” said 19-year-old Temple freshman and e-cigarette user, whose identity will remain anonymous throughout this piece, along with the identities of all other interviewees.
Some teens choose to use e-cigarettes, an act often referred to as vaping due to the device’s use of water vapor rather than smoke, because they believe that e-cigarettes are healthier than traditional cigarettes.
“Vaping is a better, healthier way to smoke a nicotine product, when compared to cigarettes. I rarely “feel” vape smoke in my lungs, whereas cigarette and hookah smoke burns a little bit,” said the Temple freshman in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Despite the popular belief that e-cigarettes contain none of the dangerous chemicals found in traditional tobacco products, components of antifreeze have been found in 2 leading electronic cigarette brands and 18 different cartridges according to the FDA. Formaldehyde, diacetyl, and, of course, nicotine are also often found within electronic cigarettes.
Other teens use e-cigs because they believe that vaping may help them stifle personal nicotine addictions, or because they think vaping, and the culture surrounding it, is cool.
“...a lot of my friends and family have used it to quit smoking, but I believe the second most part of it is teens just think it’s cool,” said Neshaminy Sophomore and vape user, 15, in an interview with Reality last week.
Despite an FDA ruling on August 8th regulating that e-cigarettes may no longer be sold to minors, teens can still purchase vape products online, or have older friends purchase the aforementioned products for them.
One Neshaminy senior and vape user believes that this ruling will not have an affect on youth electronic cigarette use. “Most of the people who sell [electronic cigarettes] don't really care about the age of people they sell them to,” said the 17-year-old in an interview with Reality last week. He reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “because cigarettes went up a dollar about 2 months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes.
“I believe that vapes are targeted toward young people, because younger people are more on the go, they're always doing something, and they can't stop for 5-7 mins to smoke and keep going- but with a vape, someone can just puff on it a few times just about anywhere,” said 16-year-old e-cigarette user and Junior at Bishop Conwell-Egan in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Teens have reported rarely seeing major life changes as a result of their e-cigarette habits., despite monetary cost.
“Well, everybody wants to bust your stones, and crack a joke on the guy who vapes, but it really hasn't changed my life, if anything it made it easier, because I can vape in my house or car. I can't smoke in there,” said the Conwell-Egan junior.
“My brother and some of his friends used to call my vape the “douche-flute”, which seems to be the only drawback I went through. I found myself spending money on vape paraphernalia, but the amount of money didn’t affect me majorly,” said the Temple freshman.
One Neshaminy junior is seeing a more notable change in his spending habits related to his electronic cigarette use.
“I spent $15 on vape juice this weekend which should last me for 2 weeks or so and I have to buy new coils for the tank which is about $10 for five coils and that should last me a month if not less. It's almost the same as buying weed. I know my parents would disapprove so I know I have to be covert about it, I wouldn't do it around most of my family
,” said 17-year-old and e-cigarette user in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
The CDC has shown that male teens are 10% more likely than their female peers to use tobacco products and 6.2% more likely to use electronic cigarettes. Researches have also found that when teens have low academic performance, low socioeconomic status, low self esteem, and low prices on local tobacco products in their area are more likely to use them. The CDC has also found that teens turn to regular tobacco use as a result of depression, stress, and anxiety more often than not.
Of those interviewed for this piece 2 began using electronic cigarettes in order to quit smoking traditional cigarettes, 1 began using them to save money, 1 began using them because they were more accessible than traditional tobacco products, and 1 began using them because they picked up the habit from a friend. One of these teens attends Conwell-Egan, three attend Neshaminy, and one attends Temple University and is a graduate of Conwell-Egan.
Electronic cigarette cartridges vary in nicotine concentration, creating the appeal for those who wish to damped their use of such products. “I haven't touched a cigarette in almost 8 months and I don't use nicotine that often anymore,” said the 15-year-old Neshaminy Sophomore.
To the right is the final draft.
With technology becoming more and more apart of the daily lives of Americans, it is no surprise that books aren’t the only products being replaced by machines.
Many rejoice in the idea that teen cigarette use on the decline, having dropped 27.1% since 1997 according to the CDC, but just as people continue to read books, tobacco use hasn’t quite declined among the young in the way one might think.
Over 3 million middle and high school students in 2015 were found to be current users of e-cigarettes, up more than half of a million from the year before. E-cigarettes, often referred to as e-cigs, are used by an estimated 16% of American high school students- making them the most popular tobacco product among today’s youth.
“[Teens] do it to fit in, clear cut. Vaping has no history of causing any problems to the body (because it is still a fairly new product) so younger people are more inclined to try it,” said 19-year-old Temple freshman and e-cigarette user, whose identity will remain anonymous throughout this piece, along with the identities of all other interviewees.
Some teens choose to use e-cigarettes, an act often referred to as vaping due to the device’s use of water vapor rather than smoke, because they believe that e-cigarettes are healthier than traditional cigarettes.
“Vaping is a better, healthier way to smoke a nicotine product, when compared to cigarettes. I rarely “feel” vape smoke in my lungs, whereas cigarette and hookah smoke burns a little bit,” said the Temple freshman in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Despite the popular belief that e-cigarettes contain none of the dangerous chemicals found in traditional tobacco products, components of antifreeze have been found in 2 leading electronic cigarette brands and 18 different cartridges according to the FDA. Formaldehyde, diacetyl, and, of course, nicotine are also often found within electronic cigarettes.
Other teens use e-cigs because they believe that vaping may help them stifle personal nicotine addictions, or because they think vaping, and the culture surrounding it, is cool.
“...a lot of my friends and family have used it to quit smoking, but I believe the second most part of it is teens just think it’s cool,” said Neshaminy Sophomore and vape user, 15, in an interview with Reality last week.
Despite an FDA ruling on August 8th regulating that e-cigarettes may no longer be sold to minors, teens can still purchase vape products online, or have older friends purchase the aforementioned products for them.
One Neshaminy senior and vape user believes that this ruling will not have an affect on youth electronic cigarette use. “Most of the people who sell [electronic cigarettes] don't really care about the age of people they sell them to,” said the 17-year-old in an interview with Reality last week. He reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “because cigarettes went up a dollar about 2 months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes.
“I believe that vapes are targeted toward young people, because younger people are more on the go, they're always doing something, and they can't stop for 5-7 mins to smoke and keep going- but with a vape, someone can just puff on it a few times just about anywhere,” said 16-year-old e-cigarette user and Junior at Bishop Conwell-Egan in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
Teens have reported rarely seeing major life changes as a result of their e-cigarette habits, despite monetary cost.
“Well, everybody wants to bust your stones, and crack a joke on the guy who vapes, but it really hasn't changed my life, if anything it made it easier, because I can vape in my house or car. I can't smoke in there,” said the Conwell-Egan junior.
“My brother and some of his friends used to call my vape the “douche-flute”, which seems to be the only drawback I went through. I found myself spending money on vape paraphernalia, but the amount of money didn’t affect me majorly,” said the Temple freshman.
One Neshaminy junior is seeing a more notable change in his spending habits related to his electronic cigarette use.
“I spent $15 on vape juice this weekend which should last me for 2 weeks or so and I have to buy new coils for the tank which is about $10 for five coils and that should last me a month if not less. It's almost the same as buying weed. I know my parents would disapprove so I know I have to be covert about it, I wouldn't do it around most of my family,” said 17-year-old and e-cigarette user in an interview with Reality on Sunday.
The CDC has shown that male teens are 10% more likely than their female peers to use tobacco products and 6.2% more likely to use electronic cigarettes. Researches have also found that when teens have low academic performance, low socioeconomic status, low self esteem, and low prices on local tobacco products in their area are more likely to use them. The CDC has also found that teens turn to regular tobacco use as a result of depression, stress, and anxiety more often than not.
Of those interviewed for this piece 2 began using electronic cigarettes in order to quit smoking traditional cigarettes, 1 began using them to save money, 1 began using them because they were more accessible than traditional tobacco products, and 1 began using them because they picked up the habit from a friend. One of these teens attends Conwell-Egan, three attend Neshaminy, and one attends Temple University and is a graduate of Conwell-Egan.
Electronic cigarette cartridges vary in nicotine concentration, creating the appeal for those who wish to damped their use of such products. “I haven't touched a cigarette in almost 8 months and I don't use nicotine that often anymore,” said the 15-year-old Neshaminy Sophomore.
Despite the aforementioned evidence to the contrary, the suspicion that the surge of vape use in American teens is just a fad, to die out sooner or later whether changes are made or not, still weighs heavy on one user.
“When vapes and e-cigarettes lose their popularity, ex-vapers will move on to another, easier form of nicotine smoking,” said the Temple freshman.
Below is the final, published text with notes on revisions I would make if I had written it more recently.
With technology becoming more and more a part of the daily lives of Americans, it is no surprise books aren’t the only products being replaced by machines.
Many rejoice in the idea that teen cigarette use is on the decline, having dropped 27.1 percent since 1997 according to the CDC, but just as people continue to read books, tobacco use hasn’t quite declined among the young in the way one might think.
Over 3 million middle and high school students in 2015 were found to be users of e-cigarettes, up more than half a million from the year before. (By comparison, 1.6 million used cigarettes).
E-cigarettes, often referred to as e-cigs, are used by an estimated 16 percent of American high school students -- making them the most popular tobacco product among today’s youth.
″(Teens) do it to fit in, clear-cut. Vaping has no history of causing any problems to the body (because it is still a fairly new product) so younger people are more inclined to try it,” said a 19-year-old Temple University freshman and e-cigarette user, whose identity will remain anonymous throughout this piece, along with the identities of all other interviewees.
Some teens choose to use e-cigarettes, an act often referred to as vaping due to the device’s use of water vapor rather than smoke, because they believe they are healthier than traditional cigarettes.
“Vaping is a better, healthier way to smoke a nicotine product, when compared to cigarettes. I rarely feel vape smoke in my lungs, whereas cigarette and hookah smoke burns a little bit,” the Temple freshman, a Conwell-Egan Catholic graduate, said in an interview with reality on Sunday.
Despite the popular belief that e-cigarettes contain none of the dangerous chemicals found in traditional tobacco products, components of antifreeze have been found in two leading electronic cigarette brands and 18 different cartridges, according to a 2009 FDA study. Formaldehyde, diacetyl and, of course, nicotine are also often found within electronic cigarettes.
Other teens use e-cigs because they believe vaping may help them stifle personal nicotine addictions, or because they think vaping, and the culture surrounding it, is cool.
“A lot of my friends and family have used it to quit smoking, but I believe the second most part of it is teens just think it’s cool,” said a Neshaminy sophomore and vape user, 15, in an interview with reality last week.
Despite an FDA ruling on Aug. 8 regulating that e-cigarettes may no longer be sold to minors, teens can still purchase vape products online, or have older friends purchase the aforementioned products for them.
One Neshaminy senior and vape user believes this ruling will not have an effect on youth electronic cigarette use.
“Most of the people who sell (electronic cigarettes) don’t really care about the age of people they sell them to,” said the 17-year-old in an interview with reality last week. He reported that he switched to e-cigarette use “because cigarettes went up a dollar about two months ago,” after several years of smoking traditional cigarettes.
“I believe that vapes are targeted toward young people, because younger people are more on the go, they’re always doing something, and they can’t stop for five to seven minutes to smoke and keep going. But with a vape, someone can just puff on it a few times just about anywhere,” said a 16-year-old e-cigarette user and junior at Conwell-Egan Catholic in an interview with reality on Sunday.
Teens have reported rarely seeing major life changes as a result of their e-cigarette habits, despite monetary cost.
“Well, everybody wants to bust your stones, and crack a joke on the guy who vapes, but it really hasn’t changed my life. If anything it made it easier, because I can vape in my house or car. I can’t smoke in there,” said the Conwell-Egan junior.
“My brother and some of his friends used to call my vape the ‘douche-flute,’ which seems to be the only drawback I went through,” said the Temple freshman. “I found myself spending money on vape paraphernalia, but the amount of money didn’t affect me majorly.”
One Neshaminy junior is seeing a more notable change in his spending habits related to his electronic cigarette use.
“I spent $15 on vape juice this weekend, which should last me for two weeks or so and I have to buy new coils for the tank which is about $10 for five coils and that should last me a month if not less,” said the 17-year-old e-cigarette user in an interview with reality on Sunday. “It’s almost the same as buying weed. I know my parents would disapprove, so I know I have to be covert about it. I wouldn’t do it around most of my family.”
The CDC has shown that male teens are 10 percent more likely than their female peers to use tobacco products and 6.2 percent more likely to use electronic cigarettes. Researches have also found that when teens have low academic performance, low socioeconomic status and low self-esteem, combined with low prices on local tobacco products in their area, they are more likely to use them. The CDC has also found that teens turn to regular tobacco use as a result of depression, stress and anxiety more often than not.
Of those interviewed for this piece, two began using electronic cigarettes in order to quit smoking traditional cigarettes, one began using them to save money, one began using them because they were more accessible than traditional tobacco products, and one began using them because they picked up the habit from a friend.
Electronic cigarette cartridges vary in nicotine concentration, creating the appeal for those who wish to diminish their use of such products. “I haven’t touched a cigarette in almost eight months and I don’t use nicotine that often anymore,” said the 15-year-old Neshaminy sophomore.
Despite the aforementioned evidence to the contrary, the suspicion that the surge of vape use in American teens is just a fad, to die out sooner or later whether changes are made or not, still weighs heavy on one user.
“When vapes and e-cigarettes lose their popularity, ex-vapers will move on to another, easier form of nicotine smoking,” said the Temple freshman.
This description of the source was much more specific than I had intended it to be. I hadn't asked how many students attended their school, so I didn't know that I had narrowed down my source to less than ten people. This had the possibility of putting them in a bad situation, and has taught me to be more careful in the future.
There is an AP Style issue in the attribution of this quote.
There is an AP Style issue in the attribution of this quote.
The use of the term e-cigarette is somewhat vague, I should have referred to it first as an electronic cigarette.
The idea that this is a popularly held belief would've been better supported by a survey.
Although, at the time, the CDC classified vapes as tobacco products, most vape juices are synthetic. I should have clarified this.